Beating the Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door Remake Without Taking Damage: A Record of Boss Fights Won Through Power-Ups and Charging

The story begins when Princess Peach sends a treasure map and arranges to meet up in the port town of Rogueport. Mario gets caught up in trouble as soon as he arrives in town, which leads to the first battle.

According to the speaker, this game, like Paper Mario and Super Mario RPG, uses an action-based battle system where pressing buttons with good timing produces beneficial effects. Successful inputs when attacking grant extra effects, and well-timed presses during the enemy's turn can nullify attacks. This challenge uses that defensive mechanic to avoid getting hit and make it all the way to the end without taking damage.

After rescuing a college student who was being harassed in the first battle, it turns out she is also hunting for treasure, and she joins the journey as Goombella. When they speak to Goombella's professor, they learn that seven Crystal Stars are needed to obtain the legendary treasure. The party first sets out for the first one, heading through the town's underground passage to the neighboring town.

In the battle against the Blooper blocking the way in the underground passage, the speaker took advantage of being able to adjust the turn order, having Goombella first use an item to burn away the troublesome tentacles. This made it possible to attack the main body, and Mario dealt 4 damage with a new move. The Blooper's starting HP is 12, and the speaker whittled it down and defeated it while the enemy was busy doing something on the floor.

On the way to the next destination, Koops, whose father was eaten by Hooktail, appears and offers to join the journey. The speaker watches with excitement as the story unfolds with a dragon waiting in a castle, calling it classic fantasy.

In the fight against Hooktail, who guards the first Crystal Star, Mario attacked with Power Bounce while a badge effect lowered Hooktail's attack power, keeping incoming damage at 0. Goombella followed up with a multi-hit attack as well. Both moves can keep hitting as long as the inputs keep succeeding. Hooktail has 20 HP, and since each character can deal roughly 5 damage, the speaker estimated two turns would be plenty. Partway through, Hooktail ate audience members to recover HP, but it only recovered 10, and the speaker defeated it within that turn. They rescued Koops's father from Hooktail's stomach, and since the father had picked it up for them, they obtained the first Crystal Star.

Entering Boggly Woods in search of the second Crystal Star, the party is attacked by the Shadow Sirens, sent by an evil organization after the Crystal Stars.

Here the speaker used the new special move learned from the first Crystal Star. It's a big move where Mario grows larger the more button inputs you succeed at, dealing damage to all enemies based on his size. The Shadow Sirens have 10, 12, and 9 HP respectively. The big move only dealt 6 damage, and judging that they couldn't finish them off this turn, the speaker used an item that puts enemies to sleep to skip the opponents' turn. On their next turn, they used a Fire Flower to chip away the remaining HP; first Marilyn, who had the lowest HP, dropped out, and one more hit defeated the trio.

This is where the approach that recurs throughout the no-damage challenge first becomes visible: prioritizing ways to stop enemies from acting at all, before even worrying about blocking their attacks.

At the tree deep in Boggly Woods, the party works together with the race living there to resolve the situation after the organization, which had gotten there first, took it over. The boss is Magnus von Grapple.

The speaker first built up power by charging. Knowing that freezing sometimes works on this boss, they tried an item that can cause freezing, but it didn't work. When the boss looked ready to attack normally, the speaker blocked it here with well-timed button presses. They charged again on the following turn, further boosted Mario's attack with a Deka Deka Drink, and then finished it off. This earned them the second Crystal Star.

Seeking the third Crystal Star, Mario and company head to an arena floating in the sky. Picking up an egg that was running around in front of a food stand, Mario registers at the arena under the name "The Great Gonzales" and fights. Meanwhile, while the egg is being raised in the locker room, a Yoshi kid hatches before anyone realizes it.

This time the Yoshi kid is blue, and the speaker likes it, calling it a cute color. The speaker expected that the Yoshi kid would be useful in future battles too, since it has powerful moves. Since it didn't have a name yet, the speaker named it "Guboy."

Investigating the arena's behind-the-scenes, there are many mysteries, such as fighters going missing, and eventually the party uncovers a plot in which the arena's owner is draining fighters' power with a Crystal Star.

In the Macho Grubba fight, Mario first put the enemy to sleep with the badge move Sleepy Stomp. Then Guboy jumped right into battle and just kept charging until the boss woke up. Macho Grubba has 60 HP. After charging six times, a single Ground Pound defeated him. Here, for the first time, the pattern is complete: put the enemy to sleep to stop it from acting, power up the attacker to the limit in the meantime, and take it down in a single hit.

Seeking the fourth Crystal Star, the party heads to Creepy Steeple, and at the very top a battle with Doopliss begins. The speaker figured that this time it would be an easy job, just needing to beat this guy.

Here the speaker used Power Lift, a new move learned from the previous Crystal Star, for the first time. It raises attack and defense according to how many arrows you can select within the time limit, and the speaker rates it as an extremely powerful move that will come in handy going forward. Doopliss's attack power is only 4, so the calculation was that adding 3 to the base defense of 1 would make things safe. After powering up, the boss's attacks dealt no damage, and Goombella's multi-hit attack also landed.

Guboy chose to charge here as well. According to the speaker, this was because charging and then attacking is easier to execute than attacking twice. However, after landing Guboy's attack on Doopliss (40 HP), the speaker reflected as follows: the charge only turned 25 damage into 35, so in terms of raw damage, attacking twice is better. The speaker admits that the actual choice prioritized consistent execution and wasn't necessarily the most efficient.

Midway through, Doopliss uses some shady magic, and its form is replaced by Mario's shadow. Even so, its attack power remained low, and its HP after transforming wasn't high, so one Ground Pound from Guboy defeated it.

Doopliss was defeated, but from here on you control Mario, who has swapped places with his shadow. While trying to return to his original form, he finds one of the Shadow Sirens in trouble and helps her, and Vivian joins the party.

With Vivian's help, heading back to the boss means also fighting the party members who were fooled by the fake Mario. The speaker is amused that the party members don't suspect anything at all, even with the fake Mario talking like that. Right then and there, Vivian realizes that this Mario is the person who prompted her to turn against the organization, and in her confusion she disappears into the shadows.

In the rematch, the speaker again powered up with Power Lift, the enemy's attacks dealt no damage, and Goombella's multi-hit attack landed as well. Doopliss, now the fake Mario, had only 4 HP. However, since waiting a little would trigger Vivian's event, the speaker decided not to defeat it that turn and instead wait and see. Eventually Vivian returns, resolving to leave the organization and help Mario. After seeing that through, the speaker finished it off with Power Bounce. The spell is broken, Mario returns to his original form, the Crystal Star is obtained, and Vivian officially joins the party.

Seeking the fifth Crystal Star, the party goes to the great pirate's hideout and fights Cortez, the ghostly great pirate.

Here the speaker lays out their battle style: Mario applies buffs, and Guboy attacks. The reasoning is that it involves few elements that depend on player skill, which makes it consistent.

On the other hand, the speaker adds a caveat about Power Lift. The arrows that appear can be skewed, so sometimes no matter how hard you try you can only raise attack by 3, while other times you can get it up to 5. The speaker says it's a move with a fair amount of luck involved, which makes it quite troublesome if you take it seriously.

Cortez has 20 HP and revives a total of two times after being defeated. But since it becomes your turn each time you defeat him, the speaker judged that dealing 20 damage each time would be enough. In practice, Guboy's Ground Pound took him down all three times.

After that, the organization's ship comes after the Crystal Star, but with Cortez's help the party instead boards the enemy ship, leading to a battle with the executive Lord Crump.

This time the speaker wanted defense as well, so they also grabbed blue arrows with Power Lift. Lord Crump has 30 HP and can't be finished in one hit, so Guboy built up power on the first turn. The enemy's attack power is 4, and the speaker judged there would be no problem with defense raised by 4. On the next turn, they used a Deka Deka Drink on Guboy for a further boost and attacked with Ground Pound. Lord Crump revives only once, but his attack power stays the same after reviving, so the no-damage run held, and Ground Pound finished him off.

Seeking the sixth Crystal Star, Mario and company travel by sleeper train. It was supposed to be a trip just to pick up the Crystal Star kept at the temple at their destination, but when the train stops at an old station along the way, it departs with something bad aboard too, and the party is attacked by the Smorg.

This time the speaker expected not to get hit, so they took only attack with Power Lift. The result was just +3, but the speaker considers that enough. Since the main body won't appear unless the tentacles are defeated, Guboy first used the new move Stampede to destroy the tentacles all at once. It's a move that summons a horde of Yoshis to attack all enemies. The main body has 50 HP, and judging that Ground Pound wouldn't be enough to finish it, the speaker defeated it with the powered-up Mario's Power Bounce.

The last Crystal Star is on the moon. The organization's headquarters is on the moon, and the Crystal Star is apparently hidden there. Upon reaching the top, the speaker recalls that they had completely forgotten, but Princess Peach is also being held captive by this organization, and they intended to rescue her while they were at it. The Crystal Stars are the key to breaking a demon's seal, the organization plans to use that power to conquer the world, and Princess Peach is apparently one of the pieces needed for that plan.

In the Magnus von Grapple 2.0 fight, the speaker also picked up blue arrows for defense with Power Lift. Goombella used two items: a Funya Funya-kun to drop the opponent's defense from 2 to 0, and a Deka Deka Drink to power up Mario. The boss's attack power is 6, within the range where guarding keeps damage at zero.

On the next turn, Mario chose to charge, and Goombella used her new move Rally Wink. It's a move that lets Mario act one more time. The speaker rates it as a move that will come in very handy going forward, since Mario basically performs better than the partners. Mario's charged-up Power Bounce defeated the boss.

With all seven Crystal Stars gathered, the door to the palace where the calamity was sealed opens. The organization has apparently gotten in first somehow, and Mario and company hurry after them. In the Palace of Shadow, boss fights come one after another.

Gloomtail, Hooktail's older brother, has 80 HP and 8 attack power. Sleep is effective and it falls asleep sometimes, so the speaker used Sleepy Stomp for the first time in a while. The first attempt failed, so they used Rally Wink to try a second time and succeeded in putting it to sleep. After that, they kept charging until it woke up and defeated it in one go.

In the next Shadow Sirens fight, Doopliss had filled the gap left by Vivian. They each have around 30 to 40 HP, and their resistances are fairly high as well. Judging that they couldn't avoid everyone's attacks, the speaker used a Boo's Sheet to become temporarily invisible, nullifying that turn's attacks. The plan was to take them all out the next turn: Mario powered up Guboy with Power Lift, and Guboy's Stampede won the battle.

At last, Sir Grodus, the organization's leader, appears. In this fight, the boss is protected by a barrier. Mario can use items three times in one turn, so the speaker first shored up defense with a Boo's Sheet while powering up Guboy, the attacker. Sir Grodus has only 50 HP, so the speaker figured a little powering up would be enough to defeat him in a single action.

On the next turn, they powered up with Power Lift again, and Guboy just kept charging. The Boo's Sheet would wear off this turn, so the fight would be settled on the next turn. On the final turn, they first broke the barrier with an all-target attack item, used the remaining item slots to power up Guboy, and then finished him off with Ground Pound.

After that, with a hostage taken and the party in a tight spot, suspicious music plays and another faction barges in. Bowser had also been chasing the Crystal Stars, trying to keep Mario from taking the credit.

In the Bowser & Kammy Koopa fight, the speaker proceeded with the same plan as before of powering up Guboy. The plan was to first use a Boo's Sheet, build up power over two turns, and take both of them down together. Guboy charged, and Mario powered up with Power Lift. With the last item slot, they used a Funya Funya-kun on Bowser, who has high defense, to lower it. With everything prepared, Stampede finished them off.

While Mario and company are fighting, Sir Grodus escapes and finishes preparing the ritual at the top. The goal is to revive the soul of an ancient demon, and Princess Peach is to be used as its vessel. The speaker reflects that, lured by the rumor that collecting the Crystal Stars would yield a legendary treasure, they fell neatly into the enemy's trap.

In the early part of the final battle, you first need to whittle down about 40 HP. The speaker stomped on the face with Power Bounce and attacked once more using Rally Wink. Once the enemy gets serious, you then need to survive two turns' worth of attacks, so the speaker donned a Boo's Sheet. At this stage, attacks have no effect at all, but they keep attacking anyway to move the story along. Eventually the enemy's health fully recovers, and the situation reaches a point where nothing will get done this way. Then cheers arrive from the people the party met during their adventure, and Mario and company regain their strength.

For the fight against the final form, the speaker went in with Guboy and Mario as well. The enemy has 150 HP, and since they didn't want to drag it out, the speaker wanted to settle things in about three turns. First, they used three items to put Boo's Sheets on both allies, shoring up their defense. With the remaining item slot, they powered up Guboy. Since they wanted to power up both with Power Lift, they swapped to Goombella to use Rally Wink to give Mario an extra action, switched back to Guboy, and then used Power Lift. The speaker says that, honestly, attack power is already on the excessive side, so something like +3 should be enough here.

With 150 HP, the calculation was that dealing 75 per turn would be enough. Mario's Power Bounce did 63 damage, and Guboy's Ground Pound did 39. A Bingo looked like it was about to line up too, so they hit it for good measure, leaving the enemy with 49 HP. Finally, Mario finished it off, defeating the Shadow Queen.

During the ending, the speaker stops the commentary, saying they'll silently wave a flag, and returns after the staff credits.

In the final look back, the speaker says that the battle system, which incorporates action elements well, is as fun as ever, the story has many appealing characters, and it was a deeply satisfying game. As for the challenge, they report that they ultimately cleared it without taking damage. Before starting, they had thought they would have no choice but to use Superguards, which completely nullify enemy attacks, and that there would be many nerve-racking moments. In reality, though, the speaker reflects that there were surprisingly few such moments. They also say they had heard that Power Bounce is harder in the remake than in the original, but they were glad it stayed at a level they could manage.