How Ramit Sethi Plans Trips Around Feelings Instead of Flights and Hotels
I Will Teach You To Be Rich
Ramit Sethi opens with what he calls his "worst travel nightmare." Someone he follows online was planning a trip for her 40th birthday. When he asked what she planned to do once she arrived, she said she didn't know and would look up places after landing. Sethi's reaction was that his time is "too valuable to travel like that." He sees this kind of unplanned travel as the reason so many people joke about needing "a vacation after the vacation." In his view, nobody should come home from a trip feeling that way.
Sethi says he has been to Japan and India, on safari, and to many other places with his wife, family, and friends, and has been taking notes on what makes a trip magical. His main claim is that the best parts of travel are not always the most expensive. They come from "invisible decisions" that many people never consider, and once you notice that layer, "you cannot unsee it." The rest of the video goes through stories from his own trips that show what those decisions are.
Spending on What Compounds: Local Photographers
Sethi compares travel spending to wedding spending. Many couples save on flowers and splurge on the photographer because they know they will treasure the photos for years. He and his wife made that same choice at their wedding, and he asks why people don't apply the same logic to travel.
He says he gets to live each trip three times: while planning it, while experiencing it, and later while sharing it. To improve all three stages, he and his wife now hire a local photographer when they visit a new city. They have done this in Copenhagen and Tokyo. He stresses that these are not influencer-style shoots. They wear their normal clothes, walk around, and grab snacks. The photographer takes them to parts of the city they would not have found otherwise, and they come home with pictures of themselves eating, talking, and laughing in context, not "selfies of ourselves standing in the same exact pose in 10 different places."
He admits it felt indulgent at first. He remembers wondering "who the hell does this?" and not wanting to seem like an influencer. Years later, though, the photos keep popping up, they share them with friends, and the pictures are "part of our lives" instead of buried in a camera roll. His takeaway is that some spending doesn't show its value right away but "compounds years later."
This is the basis of the reframe he returns to throughout the video. Most people start trip planning with transactional questions: the hotel, the flight, the number of days. Sethi says those decisions are necessary, but he starts with how he wants to feel during the trip and afterward. He says this change alone completely changed what he considers worth paying for.
Hiring Experts to Learn Something
On their honeymoon safari, Sethi and his wife first used their iPhones, and the results were "fine." At one lodge they rented a camera, but the next morning's photos were "not very good." When he returned the camera that evening, he asked the lodge photographer whether he could hire him to come out the next day and teach them. The photographer agreed and taught them techniques, especially for wildlife photography. Their photos improved a lot. In the evenings he critiqued their shots, discussing light, angle, and timing. Sethi says the lessons became a magical experience on top of the safari itself because they were learning and making something tangible. Those photos now hang on their wall, and they see them every morning.
He says the point is neither safari nor photo coaching. It is asking how to improve an experience by hiring local people who can teach you something. He and his wife often book food tours, which lead them to dishes and places they would never find alone and help them understand the culture through food. Sometimes they hire a museum guide, such as an archaeology professor, to explain what they are looking at. Sethi says this doesn't take great wealth. Affordable options exist on Airbnb Experiences and elsewhere.
His most striking example is from Nairobi. They hired a tour run by young men who had lived on the street and now show visitors where they grew up and what they ate. At lunch afterward, Sethi asked their guide what he ate and drank when he was homeless, and whether he drank coffee. The guide answered, "Coffee is for rich people. We drink tea." Sethi contrasts this with how routine coffee is for most Americans. He says conversations like this broaden a traveler's experience, and the money also goes into the local economy.
Sometimes Cheaper Is Better: The Kyoto Laundry Mission
Sethi says magical travel does not mean removing all friction. He thinks friction, mistakes, and messiness are where some of the magic happens.
At a very nice hotel in Kyoto, after a long stretch of travel, he filled one of the closet laundry bags. He usually ignores the pricing form, but this time something felt "a little too nice," so he started filling it out. The total came to $325. He says he doesn't mind paying, since the room cost thousands per night, but he refused to pay that much to get his underwear washed. He and his wife found a self-service laundromat with everything in Japanese, loaded the machines, went to lunch, and came back to clean clothes. They looked at each other and laughed.
He is clear that the savings weren't the point, since they could afford the hotel service. What mattered was that they had created a small mission and gone on a journey together. Since then, on long trips they deliberately do laundry locally, and they now have photos from laundromats in Amsterdam, Copenhagen, and other cities. Sethi says this ritual "actually feels incredibly rich to us."
He uses the story to draw a distinction. Some friction is just annoying and should be eliminated, and a hotel or someone else can handle it. Other friction is slightly uncomfortable but memorable. He says the balance between structure and freedom matters more than it seems, because when it's off, "even an incredible trip can start to unravel."
Relationships That Shape the Trip Before You Arrive
Sethi says he learned how much relationships matter when he stopped planning everything himself and started using a travel advisor. He acknowledges that many people assume travel agents no longer exist. He says they do, and that many essentially work for free because they earn commissions from hotels and excursions.
On a recent stay at a New York hotel, their advisor introduced them to the hotel manager before they arrived. When they checked in, the staff already knew who they were and what food they did and didn't like. They received a triple upgrade. Sethi says it might have been the biggest room he has ever been in in New York and that it felt more like a private apartment than a hotel room. He values the upgrade at "thousands and thousands of dollars," and credits it to the advisor's relationship with the general manager, not to luck or to paying for the most expensive room. After that, he started paying attention not only to where he was going but to who he was working with.
He contrasts this with his childhood. His family rarely traveled, and when they did, they usually stayed in motels. His dad would tell the kids to stay in the car, check in, and then immediately call the front desk asking for six towels in a room meant for two adults. Now Sethi says he is "obsessed" with beautiful hotels. He tracks them and knows the exact room he wants and what he will order. He shows the New York room and admits that when people hear it goes for roughly $8,000–$9,000 per night, they react with outrage. He agrees that the price is outrageous and personally thinks it's too expensive, even on 57th Street in Manhattan, but says there are reasons people spend that kind of money.
Being Understood Is the Real Upgrade
The upgrade Sethi values most is being understood. When he travels, he says, he doesn't want to be treated like everybody else; he wants "to be treated like me."
Before a trip, his assistant sends each hotel a short pre-arrival letter listing a few preferences. He describes it as "nothing elaborate, nothing demanding." For example, he and his wife don't drink much alcohol, so if the hotel offers a welcome amenity, which is usually wine at that level, they ask for fresh berries instead. At a hotel in Tokyo, they walked in to find a jewelry box of hand-picked berries waiting.
He explains why this matters to him. Growing up, his family rarely bought strawberries because they were too expensive, and in a big family they had to be eaten right away before they spoiled. Having plenty of berries waiting in a room feels rich to him, as though someone were looking over his shoulder deciding what he would and wouldn't want. He says the feeling of being taken care of, of knowing someone is looking out for you, is one of the best feelings in life. His conclusion is that great experiences don't happen by accident; they happen when you set expectations for what you want and what would feel magical.
The Oberoi Cake
Sethi then responds to a common objection: why spend so much on a hotel when you're barely in the room? He answers with a story he says "you will never hear about online."
He calls Oberoi his favorite hotel chain in the world. During a stay at an Oberoi property in India, staff checked in with them the day before departure about their car ride the next day, and the couple said they were all set. The next day they had a leisurely breakfast and came to the desk around 3:45 for what they thought was a 4 p.m. car. Staff told them the car had come at 4 a.m. and they hadn't appeared. The booking said "0400" in 24-hour time, and the couple had read it as p.m.
Sethi immediately said it was their fault and asked the hotel to rebook a car and bill them. Instead, he says, the staff shifted into service mode with the precision of "a ballet or a military operation." They said it was their fault for not being clear, arranged a new car, upgraded it, and had it drive the couple to Delhi. Sethi thought that was already generous since the hotel didn't have to pay. But about ten minutes after they got home, a delivery driver brought an Oberoi cake that said "With our apologies." The hotel had apologized for the guests' own mistake.
Sethi says he will never stop talking about Oberoi's service. He acknowledges that it's expensive and that not everyone can afford it or would want to spend that much. For him, the story is a perfect example of being looked after. He hopes viewers feel that at some point, whether at a luxury hotel or simply by working with someone who truly understands them when they travel.
When Great Plans Ruin the Experience
Sethi's cautionary story is a trip to Thailand that looked "incredible" on paper, with food tours, a design tour, and many places they were excited to visit. Once there, it became exhausting. They were always moving and worrying about arriving on time for the next activity. He felt they were managing the trip instead of enjoying it.
It came to a head one day after a late start. He felt tired, didn't want to go anywhere, and just wanted to sleep. They went on the scheduled food tour anyway. The guide was great and very nice, and he didn't enjoy it at all. He says travelers obsess over finding the right tour, hotel, or restaurant but forget they need to be in the right state of mind: fed, rested, and positive. "I didn't show up right," he says.
His conclusion is that great trips don't run on tightly packed schedules but on intention: what you want to experience and feel at a high level. Once he started paying attention to pacing and his own energy, he found it more meaningful to build an itinerary around what matters to him personally.
Quiet Experiences: Architects Explain the Aman Kyoto
In Kyoto, Sethi and his wife stayed at the newly opened Aman Kyoto, which he found stunning. He especially remembers the doors, which slide at a finger's touch, track perfectly, and close without a sound. He filmed one because it was "the best door I've ever seen." He calls himself a big fan of Japanese architecture.
On a private design and architecture tour they had booked, their guide surprised them with a visit to a couple's home. The guide noted that most people in Japan don't invite visitors into their homes because it is very intimate. The hosts turned out to be architects. Sethi had never been inside a local Japanese home. He asked whether he could show them his hotel room and hear what they noticed about the design, since they would surely see things he couldn't. Their eyes lit up. They knew the Aman as the nicest hotel in town, and Sethi notes they probably could never afford to stay there, so this was their first look inside. Through the translator, they explained design details, including choices about bed placement and matching seating positions, though the transcript is only partly clear here.
Sethi says the moment stayed with him because he had loved the hotel without fully understanding why, and now experts could explain what he had been feeling. The best experiences, in his view, hit you emotionally first and then let you learn about them. They often happen quietly, through a private tour, a food tour, or a placard explaining why a painting that moved you was made. He points out that none of this involves his Amex Platinum lounge access. It is about beauty, people, and slowing down enough to notice something you might otherwise walk past.
When Everything Is Taken Care Of
At the end of one safari, their bags were packed and loaded into the Jeep for the drive to the airstrip. On the way, they came across elephants drinking water and stopped. Sethi says his "American Western style" mind immediately started worrying about the flight time. Their guide, Peter, was unconcerned and sat watching the elephants with them, explaining their behavior. When Sethi asked whether they needed to go, Peter said, "You can tell me when you're ready."
When they rounded the corner to the airstrip, a single plane was waiting just for them. Sethi had expected a shared flight. Someone back in the U.S. had anticipated that the couple would be tired and want privacy on their honeymoon, and had arranged a private flight. Sethi says he's not used to a private plane waiting for him, but that is what it feels like when everything is taken care of. He argues the feeling itself is achievable at smaller scales, comparing it to a restaurant where the waiter already knows about your gluten allergy and makes substitutions without being asked. Still, he says this wasn't his most meaningful travel experience.
The Tiger Safari Dinner: What a Rich Life Is About
The experience he ranks highest was a tiger safari in India with his wife, his mom, and his aunt. His mom and aunt grew up in India but had never been to this place. They stayed at an Oberoi hotel, and Sethi had sent instructions ahead. After an elaborate greeting ceremony and a long train ride, he told his mom and aunt their bags were handled and massages were waiting. They were shocked and asked what the catch was. He told them there wasn't one.
At dinner that night he decided to do more. He befriended the chef and asked about a special dinner. Sethi says people in hospitality love to say yes and want to delight guests, and the chef was thrilled. Together they planned a menu: Sethi described where his mom and aunt grew up and where they later moved so the dishes would reflect their life journey, and he made sure to include paneer for his wife. He told no one else and just kept one night open on the schedule.
That night, a golf cart took them across the property to an ancient-looking amphitheater lit with hundreds of candles. Rajasthani musicians were playing and the chef was cooking at a tandoor. Everyone was in disbelief. The chef explained dishes inspired by the city where the two women grew up, and his aunt asked, "Why did you do this for me?" Sethi didn't record the moment on camera, but he says he will never forget it, and that there is nothing better than surprising people and making them feel heard.
He closes by saying people deserve to create meaningful experiences and moments of awe, sometimes expensive, sometimes free. His main request is that viewers look past questions like which flight to take or how many nights to stay, and instead ask: how do I want to feel, and how do I want my loved ones to be seen?
You want to know my worst travel nightmare? I have this person that I follow online and she was talking about her 40th birthday trip. She was planning to go somewhere. I said, "Wow, that sounds amazing. What are you gonna do once you get there?" And her response was, "I don't know. We're just gonna get there and when we land, we'll look up some places to go."
Huh? Excuse me? My time is too valuable to travel like that. And frankly, that's why so many of us toss around phrases like, "Oh, I gotta take a vacation after the vacation." No, you should never feel like that after a trip.
Now I've gone on safari, I've gone to Japan, gone to India. I've gone all over the world with my wife, family, friends. And over time, I've been taking notes on what makes a trip magical. And the coolest parts of travel are not always the most expensive, but they are these invisible decisions that a lot of people never experience because they don't even think about them. And once you see that layer, you cannot unsee it.
How to spend money on travel so you can create magical memories. It's kind of interesting that when we think about weddings, a lot of people will go, "Hey, we saved a little bit of money on the flowers, but we really splurged on the photographer." I think that's a great decision for a lot of people. We did the same. Why? Because we knew that those photos were gonna be something we treasured every single year. So why don't we do the same thing when we travel?
Now, one of the things I love about the trips that I take is that I get to live them three times. One, in the planning, where I'm looking at all the cool things to do in these cities. Two, when I'm actually experiencing them. And then three, when I'm sharing those experiences with you.
And in order to elevate that entire process, my wife and I started doing something that we really love. Whenever we go to a new city, we will hire a local photographer to take us around and take photos of us. We've done this in Copenhagen. We've done this in Tokyo. And I'm not talking about these influencer shots or anything like that. We're kind of wearing our normal clothes. We're doing the things that we would normally do. We're walking around, we're grabbing a snack.
What I love about this is it takes us to different parts of the city that we would not know. And when we come back, we are not just looking at selfies of ourselves standing in the same exact pose in 10 different places. We actually are in context. We're eating, we're talking, we're laughing. These are beautiful memories that elevate every time we look back at the photos.
And I gotta tell you, at the time it felt a little indulgent. I remember thinking, who the hell does this? Why would we get a photographer? I don't really wanna be one of these influencers, but I'll tell you something. Years later, we love these photos. We look at them. They pop up all the time. We share them with friends. They're not buried in our camera roll. They're actually part of our lives. So this is an example for me that some spending does not reveal its value immediately. It actually compounds years later.
When people think about travel, they first and foremost think about transactional decisions. What's the hotel? What's the flight? How many days are we gonna be there? Okay, that's fine. You probably need to do that. But I wanna think about feelings. I wanna think about the memories that we are going to create and the memories that we are going to remember. So that shift alone—how do we wanna feel on the trip and afterwards—completely changed how I think about what's worth paying for.
Hiring experts to make your travel experience better. When we were on our honeymoon, we were on safari and we were taking pictures of these amazing sights using our iPhone and the photos and the videos were fine. But then we got to a lodge where they had camera rentals. So I went and rented a camera. The next morning went out, took a bunch of photos. Honestly, they were not very good.
So I went back that evening to return the camera and the camera guy, the photographer, was there. And I said, "Hey, can I just hire you to come out with us tomorrow? Can you come out and show us how to shoot better?" He was like, "Yeah, no problem." He comes out and that day he showed us amazing techniques, especially for wildlife photography. The quality of the photos that we took went way up.
And then we would come back at night and we would do a photo critique. He would say, "Well, this one, I would do this a little differently. What do you think about that one?" The light, the angle, the timing. This became a magical experience, even outside of the safari. We were learning, we were hands-on creating something tactile and beautiful. And the thing is, we came back and we put those photos on our wall. So every morning we wake up and we see them and we remember.
Here's the point. It's not about going on safari. It's not about hiring a photo coach. It is about thinking, how can we elevate our experience by hiring local people who can help us learn something? When we travel, we go on a food tour. We love it. We experience foods we would never know about. We go to places that we would never discover on our own and we get to understand the culture through the food.
Sometimes we hire somebody to take us through a museum. Sometimes it's like an archaeology professor, et cetera. And they actually explain what we are looking at. You don't have to be incredibly wealthy to do this. There are actually very affordable experiences on Airbnb Experiences and everywhere else where you can find incredibly knowledgeable people in the city you're going to who can help take you around.
We were once in Nairobi and we hired a group of boys who have lived on the street. They were homeless for a variety of reasons. And they have now set up a tour group where they take you around and show you where they grew up, what they eat. They tell us all about it. We were interested. We wanna learn. We don't know what that's like.
At the end of our tour, we stopped for lunch with him. And we were asking him questions about food. What did you eat when you were homeless? And what do you drink? Do you drink coffee? And I will never forget, he said, "Coffee is for rich people. We drink tea." For us, buying a coffee is something that most Americans do every day or they make it at home. Just imagine the kind of experiences you have when you are talking to local people and learning about their lives. Not only is your experience gonna be elevated and expanded, but you're actually putting money in the local economy.
Sometimes, cheaper is better. For me, magical travel is not about eliminating all friction. I actually think friction and mistakes and messiness is where some of the magic happens. I wanna give you an example because I was in Kyoto. I was staying at a very nice hotel there. We had been traveling for a long time and we needed to do laundry.
So, you know those laundry bags they have in the closet? I pulled them out, I put my clothes in there. It was like one full laundry bag about this size. And just out of curiosity, I started filling out that form. Usually I don't fill it out. I'm just like, "Just do this." But I started filling out this form because I had a feeling in the back of my head, "Something's weird. Everything's a little too nice."
So I'm filling out this form and I look up. It's like the blood has drained out of my face and I turn to my wife, I say, "Guess how much this laundry is gonna cost?" She goes, "How much?" $325. Now listen, I don't mind paying. The hotel room we were staying costs thousands per night. But I'll be damned if I'm gonna pay $325 to have my freaking underwear cleaned. I'll do it myself.
And we find this little laundromat. Oh, we made it to the promised land. Not paying 350 bucks for this. We walk in, everything's in Japanese. It's one of those do-it-yourself places. And we put the money in and leave, go to lunch. We come back, the laundry's done. And at that moment, we looked at each other and we just laughed. We loved it.
It wasn't about saving the 300 bucks. We can afford it, but it was the fact that we created a mission. We went on a journey together. And after that, we actually decided as much as possible when we are traveling for long periods of time, we wanna do our laundry locally. So we will go somewhere. We'll spend a little bit of time at the laundromat. It actually feels incredibly rich to us. And we have these funny little photos from Amsterdam and from Copenhagen and from all these different places where we did our laundry. And it's become this little thing, this little ritual that we do together.
A rich life is not about eliminating friction. Sometimes friction is annoying, eliminate it. But sometimes friction adds something special. What are the things that you actually want to do that might be a little uncomfortable, but you will remember them forever? And what are the things that you're just like, I don't need to be thinking about that. Somebody else can help. We can ask the hotel, whatever. That balance between structure and freedom matters a lot more than it sounds. Because when it's off, even an incredible trip can start to unravel.
When relationships change your experience before you arrive. I learned how much relationships matter in travel when I stopped planning everything myself and I started working with a travel agent. Now, I know a lot of us are like, travel agents, are they still around? But actually they are around and many of them basically work for free because they take a commission from the hotel or the excursions.
I'll give you an example of what happened with our travel advisor. We stayed at a hotel in New York not that long ago. And for this trip, we were working with a travel advisor. And before we arrived, they introduced us to the manager at that hotel. So when we showed up, we were not strangers. There was already context. They knew who we were. They knew that we like this type of food and not that type of food. And in this case, we were triple upgraded. Not one level, not two, but three levels.
Now I walked into this room. I said, this might be the biggest room I've ever been in in New York. It did not feel like a hotel room in the way that most hotels do. It actually felt like a private apartment. And this travel advisor and the upgrade that he managed for us because of his relationship with the general manager was worth thousands and thousands of dollars.
This was a moment where I really saw the power of relationships. And I realized this didn't happen because we were lucky. It certainly didn't happen because we paid for the most expensive room. It happened because we were working with the right person, somebody who had relationships with this hotel. And that relationship led to them providing an amazing experience we would not have gotten if we booked it ourselves. Once I saw that, I started paying a lot more attention, not just to where I was going and where we were eating, but who I was working with.
When I was a kid, we did not stay at hotels. We hardly ever traveled. And if we did, we usually stayed at motels. My dad would say, "Stay in the car." He would go in, check in, take us to a room. And he would immediately call and say, "Can you send a few more towels?" They would say, "How many, sir? One, two?" He's like, "How about six?" They're like, "Sir, this hotel room is for two adults, not for six people." He's like, "Just send the towels, bye."
I remember that vividly because now as an adult, I love nice hotels. I track them. I know not only the hotel I wanna stay, I know the exact room that I wanna stay in. I know what I'm gonna order. I am obsessed with beautiful hotels.
I wanna share this because when you look at this room, it looks beautiful. It's a humongous room, that's obvious. Most people can appreciate that, but when you tell them the price of this room, which would be something around $8,000 or $9,000 per night, they immediately go, "Fuck you." And I understand that is actually an outrageous price for that room. Personally, I actually think it's too expensive, even though it is on 57th Street in Manhattan. But I will say that there are reasons that people who spend this kind of money do. There is a different type of upgrade that I have found makes things magical. And that is being understood.
Being understood is the real upgrade. Being understood changes everything about how a trip feels because now when I travel, I don't wanna be treated like everybody else. I wanna be treated like me. So here's how I do it. Before my trip, my assistant sends a pre-arrival letter to the hotel. Nothing elaborate, nothing demanding, just a few preferences so they understand what we actually enjoy.
For example, we don't really drink a lot of alcohol. So if there's going to be a welcome amenity, which a lot of these hotels at this level offer, usually a bottle of wine, we tell them we'd prefer fresh berries instead of wine. And I have to tell you, when we walked into this room in Tokyo, they had this beautiful jewelry box of hand-picked berries already waiting.
Now I have to tell you why this is so meaningful to me. When I was a kid, we hardly bought strawberries. They were too expensive. And with a big family, the minute you buy them, you have to eat them because they go rotten. So now to walk into a room and know that I have all of these berries available, it's actually incredibly meaningful. It feels rich to me.
It's like someone is looking over my shoulder and saying, "Oh, I think he's going to like that. I think they're going to like that. They probably don't need that in the room." And I noticed that when this happens, I feel taken care of. That's an amazing feeling in life to know that somebody is looking out for you. Great experiences do not happen by accident. They happen when you help set the expectations of what you want and what would be magical.
Sometimes when you hear people talking about the trips they take, it's really easy to go, why would you spend that much money on a hotel? You're not even going to be in the room most of the time. And I want to share one of these experiences that happened with me. You will never hear about this online, but it actually happened.
My wife and I were staying at an Oberoi hotel. Oberoi hotel is my absolute favorite hotel chain in the world. We were in India. The hotel came around to us the day before we left and they said, "Oh, how was everything?" And, "Are you going to be tired for your car ride home tomorrow?" And we were like, "No, we're good. We're all set."
The next day we woke up for breakfast. We had a leisurely breakfast. And we go up to the desk around 3:45 for a 4 p.m. car ride. And they go, "Sir, ma'am, your car was here at 4 a.m. and we didn't see you." I said, "4 a.m.? It says 0400." And then we realized they were using 24-hour time. We were thinking, "AM/PM." Immediately I realized this is our fault. It's not the hotel's fault. I said, "Oh my God, it's my bad. Can you please rebook us a car and bill us? It's our fault."
And they immediately shifted into service mode. It was incredible to watch, like a ballet or a military operation. And they go, "No, we will take care of it. It's our fault for not being clear. We will arrange your car." They arranged the car. They upgraded the car. So the car was even nicer. It drove us back to Delhi.
Now here's where I thought, "Wow, this hotel did a really nice thing. They didn't have to pay for that car. It was our fault. That was so nice." No, the story was not over. We get into the house. Ten minutes later, do you know what happens? There's a delivery driver who delivers an Oberoi cake. Take a look at this cake. And it came in and it said, "With our apologies." They sent a cake to our house and apologized for our mistake.
Now this to me is magical. I will never stop talking about the service I've received at Oberoi. And yes, it's expensive. And no, not everyone's gonna afford to be able to stay there or even want to pay that kind of money. But for me, this is a perfect example of somebody always looking out for me. This is how I want you to feel at some point in your life. It could be staying at a very luxurious hotel or it simply could be working with somebody who truly understands you when you travel.
When great plans ruin the experience. We took a trip to Thailand that really drove this home for me. On paper, this trip was incredible. We had food tours.
We did a design tour as well. We had a lot of places that we were really excited to visit. And I'm looking over the plan. I go, "This looks amazing." But once we got there, it started to feel exhausting. We were constantly moving. We were always making sure, "Are we gonna arrive in time for our next thing?" And instead of enjoying the experience, I felt that we were managing it.
And it all came to a head, one specific moment. I think we had gotten a late start in the morning for some reason. I was like, "God, this trip, I feel tired. I don't actually even wanna go. I just wanna go to sleep right now." And then guess what happened? We went on the food tour and the food tour guide was great. She was very nice. I didn't enjoy it at all.
And it was a great reminder that when you travel, we often obsess about, "Are we gonna find the right tour, the right hotel, the right restaurant?" But actually we need to be in the right state of mind. We need to be fed. We need to be rested. We need to have a positive attitude, and I didn't show up right.
Great trips don't run on these tightly packed schedules. I actually think another way to look at it is they run on intention. What do you want to experience at a high level? What do you want to feel? Once I started noticing pacing of trips, my energy, it is much more advanced and meaningful to create a beautiful, unique itinerary of what feels meaningful to you.
Why the best experiences are designed quietly. Years ago we were staying in Kyoto. There was a brand new hotel that had opened up, the Aman Kyoto, and it was stunning. It was absolutely beautiful. The design, the floors, even the doors, I still remember you just go like this with your finger and it perfectly tracks and then without making a noise, it just goes right into the door. I remember taking video of this just being like, "This is the best door I've ever seen." Now I absolutely loved the architecture. I'm a big fan of Japanese architecture.
Now while we were in Kyoto, we had arranged a private design and architecture tour. And at one point our guide actually surprised us and said, "We've arranged for you to visit a couple, and most people in Japan will not invite you into their homes, it's very intimate, but we're gonna go there and we're gonna talk a little bit about design." Okay, that's interesting. We go there and it turns out both of them were architects.
So we walk into their house. I've never really been in a Japanese local person's house. We're looking around, "Wow, this is pretty interesting." And we sit down, I said, "Can I ask you a question? We would love to show you our room and ask you, what do you notice about this design? Because I'm sure you see things that we don't see." And their eyes lit up. And they said, "Of course, we know you're staying at Aman Kyoto. It's the nicest hotel in town."
I showed them the video and there is this beautiful moment where our translator is showing them and translating some of the things I'm saying. And their eyes are wide because you have to remember they could likely never afford to go and stay at that hotel. This is the first time they have been taken behind the scenes into that hotel. But for me, I'm learning more. And then they are explaining, "Oh wow. We don't usually put a bed on the town. And you can see it a lot, and they both match the seating position."
This was a magical, incredibly memorable moment. And it stays with me because I loved the hotel, but I didn't fully appreciate it. And now I got the chance to speak to experts who could actually teach me why I was feeling the way I was.
The best experiences are ones that hit you emotionally and then you can actually learn about them. Those moments happen often quietly. It could be a private tour. It could be a food tour. It could be reading a little description of a piece of art that has really struck you and learning why it was painted.
You will notice that this has nothing to do with my Amex Platinum access to a lounge, nothing. This is about beauty. This is about people. This is about slowing down to notice something magical that's happening. That idea, that great experiences are often invisible and you might walk right by if you don't pay attention, became very real at the end of one of our trips that I'll tell you about in just a second.
I am sharing these amazing, magical, behind the scenes experiences that I've had to inspire you to create magical travel experiences of your own. I'm not the guy who comes and makes you feel guilty about buying coffee or taking a trip or buying a nice sweater. I actually want you to live a rich life. Of course, I want you to know your investment numbers. Of course, I want you to know when you can retire. And also, I want you to live a rich life today and a richer life tomorrow.
If you want to join a community of people who will never make you feel guilty for wanting to take amazing trips like this, you can join my Money Coaching program. In fact, I did a live event on how to use money to create magical travel that goes into even more detail than this video. To join the Money Coaching program, you can scan the QR code on screen or click the link in the description below.
What it feels like when everything is taken care of. Now, not everyone is gonna experience this, but I just wanna share this with you because I've never stopped thinking about it. At the end of one of our safari trips, something magical happened. We had been moving between lodges and on our last day, they packed up our bags, loaded up the Jeep, and we were getting ready to go.
On the way, as we were driving over to the airstrip, we saw a bunch of elephants drinking water. So we stopped. Just the last part of our safari that we had not even expected on the way to the airstrip. And then of course, I'm already thinking, American Western style schedule. "What time does our plane leave? Are we gonna miss the plane? What are we gonna do?"
Our guide was not concerned at all. He was just sitting in the front, his name was Peter, just watching the elephants with us, just telling us about what we were seeing in their behavior. I remember saying, "Do we need to go?" And he said, "You can tell me when you're ready." And we said, "Okay, we think we're ready to go."
So Peter turns on the Jeep. He drives us towards the airstrip. And as we turn the corner, we see the airstrip with one plane that was just waiting for us. I thought we were gonna be on one of those planes where a bunch of people load up. That's what I thought. No, somebody back in the US was thinking about us and figured, "After this one experience, they're gonna be tired. They're gonna want something just to themselves. It's their honeymoon. Let's arrange this one private flight."
Now, again, I'm not used to having a private plane sitting on an airstrip waiting for me. That's not a common thing for me, but that's what it feels like when everything is taken care of. But this feeling is actually achievable. You know it because you've had it when you've gone to a nice restaurant and the waiter understands that you have a gluten allergy and they're already substituting things for you.
Now, as incredible as that moment was, it still was not the most meaningful, incredible travel experience I've ever had. That came from somewhere very different. By the way, if as you're watching this, my style of travel, of thinking, of money resonates with you, make sure you are subscribed because this channel's where I break down how to build a rich life without guilt, without guessing, but making an actual plan.
What a rich life is really about. One of the most memorable travel experiences I ever had was when my wife and I decided we wanted to go on a tiger safari in India and we invited my mom and my aunt. My mom and aunt grew up in India, but they had never been here and we decided to stay at one of my favorite hotels, the Oberoi Hotel.
When we arrived, we had made sure to send some instructions ahead of time. So we arrive and they do this very elaborate greeting ceremony, it's really fun. And as soon as we got there, we told my mom and aunt, "Your bags are already taken care of, just head on over to the room, they'll show you, and we have a massage waiting for you." We've been on a long train ride, we knew that we wanted to relax and so we had arranged that ahead of time. They looked shocked, like, "What's the catch?" There's no catch, just go enjoy it.
And as we ate that night, I realized I wanna do something even more. So I sat down with the chef, I became friends with him, and I told them, "Can we do a special dinner?" And he said, "Of course." People who work in hospitality love to say yes, they want to delight you. So he was thrilled.
We sat down, we actually planned out the menu together. I told him, "This is where my mom and aunt grew up. This is where they later moved. I wanna make sure we have dishes that represent their life journey. I wanna make sure that my wife, who loves paneer, we have that on the menu as well." He took all of that, he started building a menu around it. I didn't tell anyone what was happening. I just made sure that we had one night open on the schedule.
When that night came, a golf cart pulled up to our rooms and it drove us through the property. "So where are we going?" And we turn a corner and suddenly you see this ancient-looking amphitheater with hundreds of candles lit, Rajasthani musicians playing music, the chef over there cooking on the tandoor. And I remember looking at them and seeing their reaction and all of them were in disbelief.
We then sat down and the chef came over and explained the menu, dishes inspired by the city they grew up in. And I remember my aunt saying, "Why did you do this for me?" And I just love that memory. That memory, I didn't even capture it on camera. I just saw it right here. I'll never forget it. There is nothing better than surprising people and making them feel heard.
If you've watched this video, the number one thing I want you to take away is that you deserve to create meaningful experiences when you travel. You deserve to create those amazing moments of awe in your daily life. Sometimes they might be expensive, sometimes they can be free. But I want you to approach the world beyond, "What flight am I gonna get on? How many days am I gonna stay at this hotel?" Think about, "How do I want to feel? How do I want my loved ones to be seen?"
And if you wanna explore how to design your life with that same level of intention, then watch this video on how to design your rich life in 2026 next.
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