What a $400,000 Vacation Buys: A Luxury Travel Advisor on How the Ultra-Wealthy Travel
I Will Teach You To Be Rich
Ramit Sethi interviews Hao Tang, a travel advisor who plans trips costing $100,000 or more for some of the wealthiest families in the world. Ramit wants to know what that money actually buys, and why people pay it. Hao's answer is that the price is mostly not about the room. It pays for flexibility, convenience, and staff who learn and remember a guest's preferences. Hao argues that this kind of luxury "doesn't translate on a website."
Anatomy of a $400,000 Itinerary
Ramit starts with a real itinerary Hao booked: a summer trip for a single father and his children. Hao puts the total at roughly $400,000. That figure covers accommodation, some activities, food, tips, and a private jet home, for just under 20 nights.
The destination was Turks and Caicos. The family needed at least three bedrooms and stayed in a beachfront villa with a full-size private pool, a private butler, and, in one of the villas, a private chef. Hao calls that only the high-level picture.
The client was copying Hao. He had seen the trip Hao took the year before for Hao's 40th birthday, staying in villas at Amanyara and then Amangiri, and asked for "the exact same thing." Hao says the deal also needed unconventional work: Hao secured a $40,000 upgrade for this client, and says the stay would not have been possible otherwise. Hao describes spotting an opportunity that worked for both the client and the hotel.
Arrival Without a Front Desk
Ramit asks what arrival looks like at this level, compared with checking in at a Holiday Inn in his early twenties. Hao says the experience starts at the airport, not the hotel door. For resorts, Hao usually arranges transfers through the hotel, so someone is waiting with a sign as soon as the client leaves the airport.
Hao singles out the Peninsula for its arrivals. When guests book the hotel's vehicle, the driver calls three or four minutes ahead. Four staff members are waiting outside with pins and notebooks when the car pulls up. Guests never check in at a desk. They are taken straight to their room or suite to check in there. They never see their luggage, which appears in the room within a few minutes "like magic." Some teams offer a short tour first, and in that case they aim to have the luggage in the closet before check-in is even finished.
In the room, Hao says, there are usually cold or warm towels depending on the location, welcome drinks, and sometimes a printed itinerary. After passport formalities, staff offer to walk guests through the suite's amenities and controls. Hao says this matters because high-end suites are full of hidden features. Hao's own TV in the room where the interview is filmed is concealed somewhere nobody would guess, and Hao once stayed in a suite with a hidden bathroom door Hao never would have found alone.
Curiosity Instead of Disparagement: The $15,000-a-Night Villa
Ramit points to another booking: eight nights at Amanjiwo at more than $15,000 a night, about $125,000 in total. He admits the easy reaction to numbers like that is to call them crazy, wasteful, or disgusting. He proposes what he calls the "D to C principle," moving from disparagement to curiosity, and asks what $15,000 a night actually gets you.
Hao answers by contrasting two ways to experience a beach resort. In the traditional big-complex hotel, imagine one in Hawaii, the family packs up every morning, goes down to the pool, hopes to find seats, and "makes camp" for the day. Taking a call or using the bathroom means drying off, putting on sandals, and riding the elevator back up. Hao, who calls themself a bit of a germaphobe, dislikes public restrooms. Hao stresses that this is still a wonderful way to travel, and that for someone who grew up never traveling it is heaven.
The alternative is a room directly on the beach of a pristine private island. Three steps from the living room is a half-covered private deck. In front of it is a huge pool just for the family, where children can be as loud as they like. Thirty more steps puts you on the beach alone, and fifty more puts you in the water.
Private Chefs and Off-Menu Cooking
Using Amanyara as the example, Hao explains how in-villa chefs work. The chef will make anything the guest wants, as long as the ingredients are available. For clients with specific needs, Hao sends instructions ahead. Hao mentions Indian clients with particular dietary needs and preferences, and the chef can build a custom menu from that list. Ramit adds his own preferences jokingly: no French food, because in his view it has virtually no taste.
Hao says Aman properties are known for cooking anything off-menu. Some chefs specialize in Thai, Indian, or French cuisine, and clients often request a specific chef by name, much as they would request a room type.
When Ramit asks why not just go to the restaurant, Hao says that option is still available. But in-villa dining enables a different rhythm, especially with children. When traveling with kids, Hao's group has the children eat around 5 p.m., with the chef making something like grilled chicken. The kids make a mess, the butler cleans it up, and around 7 p.m., after the children are settled or in bed, the adults eat a separate meal. On another trip, some friends wanted Thai food and others wanted Italian, and the kitchen simply made both.
Asked why clients care so much, Hao answers "convenience" and says Hao feels the same way. Hao goes to Amanyara every summer. Before a trip, you picture showering, dressing up, and going to the restaurant. With kids, Hao says, 6 p.m. is "mayhem": Hao's son Milo is running around without his diaper, and you just want dinner where you are, in your bathing suit and T-shirt. This is where Hao makes the argument that much of luxury is flexibility and convenience, which don't show up on a booking website.
Butlers: Remembered Preferences and the "Nanny Hybrid"
Hao describes a butler's role as being available at all times to handle anything that adds convenience: keeping beverages, water, and towels stocked by the pool and, whenever not handling a request, tidying up. Hao dislikes clutter, and as a parent finds constant toy mess one of the biggest daily annoyances, so having someone always straightening up feels like "heaven."
Hao's favorite butler concept is at a resort the transcript renders as "Parrot Cay." There, the butler goes with guests throughout the whole resort, not just the beach house, and acts as their waiter wherever they go. The payoff, Hao says, is that preferences only need stating once. If you want a Diet Coke with two slices of lemon and half a glass of ice, you say it on day one and never repeat it. With most butler services, which stay in the room, you might have to repeat it every time you sit down.
Hao says these butlers are also excellent with children. Hao calls one of the favorite "hacks" the way clients use them: clients arriving there the first night often send Hao a photo, and about half the time it shows them at dinner with the butler playing with their child in the background. Hao describes the butler as "almost like a nanny hybrid." Parents can have a glass of wine and watch the sunset knowing their child is having fun and being looked after. Hao gives the kids' club as another example. Instead of leaving the pool to collect the children, a parent can ask the butler to pick them up, bring them back to the room, or get them food.
Not Everyone Uses What's Offered
Ramit says he loves this level of detail and only wanting to order sparkling water with limes once. He recalls dining with friends at a hotel in Jaipur. As it got late and one child was falling asleep, a staff member offered to take the children back to the room, letting themselves in and making sure everything was safe. Ramit thought it was magical. His friends declined, even as the kids grew irritable. When he asked why they wouldn't use a free, included service, the mother said she simply wasn't comfortable with it.
Ramit adds a story from his own marriage. At hotels with butlers, he asked his wife whether they should have staff pack for them. He hates packing, and it would free up about two hours on the last day. She said no, she likes packing herself. His takeaway is that just because a service exists doesn't mean everyone uses it.
Hao agrees and links it to how Hao's own attitude has changed. As a college student, a complimentary minibar would have meant chugging Coke, eating gummy bears, and packing the leftovers. Now Hao doesn't touch it and isn't going to drink 80 grams of sugar just because it's free. Hao says there's nothing wrong with enjoying what you've paid for. But with more experience, the luxury Hao values most is getting the experience Hao wants at any given moment, without FOMO or feeling obligated to do anything.
The Berries: Why Personalization Costs Money
Ramit, a longtime client of Hao's, says Hao learned that he and his wife don't really drink, so the wine or champagne hotels leave out goes unused. Hao also found out, probably from a passing mention, that Ramit loves berries, which were too expensive to eat when he was a child. Now nearly every hotel Ramit arrives at has a plate of perfect berries waiting. Ramit says he feels like "a kid in a candy store," even though he is paying a lot for these hotels. Pulling on that thread, he says it feels like being taken care of, almost like being a child who knows someone is watching over him.
Hao uses this to answer a common objection: why pay so much for a hotel when you're just sleeping there, and a cheaper hotel works the same? Hao's answer is that getting to know someone costs money, resources, and manpower. That's why Hao keeps a limited number of clients. Learning each one takes time, and once Hao passes the information on, the hotel spends staff time and energy sourcing specific amenities for that guest.
The Worst Call: A $60,000 Non-Refundable Safari
Asked about the worst call from a client, Hao describes a woman in her 70s who had been planning a once-in-a-lifetime safari with Hao for about a year and a half. She called to say she had cancer. Hao says part of them felt heartbreak while another part thought, "We're in penalty." She had already paid $60,000, and it was fully non-refundable.
Hao says safari properties make this especially hard. Unlike a New York hotel, nobody walks in at the last minute to book a $60,000 safari. Hao went into problem-solving mode and found a partial fix. Hao located another client looking to go on safari, persuaded them to shift their dates slightly, and proposed that the original client sell them the trip at a discount on what she had paid. Hao calls it a win-win "so to speak," but stresses how difficult these cases are, because the client receives devastating news and then a second blow on top of it.
Where Hao Thinks the Value Isn't, and Why It Doesn't Always Matter
Asked about a hotel everyone thinks is worth it that Hao doesn't, Hao names a region instead: Europe in summer. On the Amalfi Coast, in places like Positano, or on Lake Como, Hao says an entry-level room at top properties can cost €3,000–4,000 a night, about $3,600–5,000, for what Hao calls a 300-square-foot "closet."
When Ramit asks what Hao would say to a client who wants Positano anyway, Hao says it depends. If the client knows the market, Hao may not raise it at all. Part of the job is understanding what each client values on a given trip, and that isn't always money or "bang for the buck." Sometimes it's simply being in the South of France at the peak of summer, just as New Yorkers in January may care only about being in the Caribbean.
Ramit offers a related example. He and his wife love Rosewood Mayakoba, and Hao once politely told him it was a bit incongruous with the other places he stays, meaning less nice. Ramit still loves it for the warm experiences they've had with the staff and has brought friends there. His lesson is that having money doesn't mean always spending the maximum. Sometimes what matters is ease of access, or feeling warmly taken care of.
Who Pays for the Advisor's Travel
Hao says Hao pays for their own travel. Hao references an Instagram reel posted the previous May about spending $300,000 to get a million dollars' worth of travel experiences. The several-hundred-thousand-dollar difference came from invitations, upgrades, and similar perks. Hao adds a caveat: a free stay "actually cost me something" if Hao doesn't like the place. Hao would rather pay full or discounted rates at a property Hao and Hao's clients are likely to love than accept a free stay that isn't a good fit.
Spotting a Good Client, and the Numbers Behind the Business
Hao hesitates to share what they call their "secret sauce," then explains that how someone first approaches Hao is itself a signal. A prospect who opens with "How do you work? What's your fee?" raises a red flag. Hao's highest-net-worth clients have typically said something like: we've followed you for a while, we resonate with you, are you accepting new clients? Hao reads the first approach as still interviewing the advisor, and the second as a decision already made after time spent evaluating the fit. Hao speculates that these clients already work with top people in other areas, such as their accountant or physician, and know that such people are often at capacity and not necessarily taking new clients.
On the numbers, Hao says the average booking is hotels starting around $4,000 a night, for about five nights. The lowest has been a few hundred dollars. Once someone is a client, Hao books whatever they need, such as a Four Seasons suite in Kuala Lumpur for around $300.
What to Look For in a Travel Advisor
Hao answers this by recalling a half-joke, made to someone close to Hao who didn't find it funny, about what to look for in an advisor if Hao died. The criteria:
- Taste developed through experience. You should be able to see that the advisor has actually been to these places and that their opinions were refined by those trips.
- A strong perspective. They should hold clear opinions.
- Unconventional thinking. Hao points again to the $40,000 upgrade for the single father as an example of creating a deal that wouldn't otherwise have existed.
- Industry relationships. They should be connected to the right people, such as general managers, and have their hand on the pulse of the industry.
From No Motels to Luxury Hotels
Asked whether Hao grew up in luxury hotels, Hao says the family was so poor they didn't even stay at motels. Hao's mother immigrated and raised Hao while working as a housekeeper and waitress, which Hao says is why Hao has a soft spot for hotel housekeepers. Hao started traveling while working at Ralph Lauren, using company discounts. Hao could stay at the Surrey on the Upper East Side for about $200 instead of roughly $800, and even that was a splurge Hao had to save for. Hao says they couldn't define it then, but wanted to know "what's out there." When Hao first tried luxury travel, it resonated deeply. Hao would happily stay in the hotel all day while friends went to museums, just sitting on the bed and enjoying the space, without being able to explain why.
What Hao loves about the work is its immediacy. In the corporate world, a project might pay off in two years, if ever. Here, Hao knows right away how a trip went. Hao acknowledges the pressure but calls the reward substantial, especially for wealthy clients who don't lack money but do lack time, because Hao gets to play a role in pivotal moments of their lives. Hao says they get messages like "Dude, look at these blueberries. They're individual shelves," and that talking about it gives Hao goosebumps.
Ramit's Closing Point
Ramit ends by returning to his question: why would someone spend this money? If people can afford it, he reasons, they presumably have a reason. It may not be something he cares about now, but it might be someday, and the only way to understand it is to get curious rather than disparage it. He says applying the D-to-C principle, from disparagement to curiosity, will reveal new ways of thinking about money everywhere.
What does a $400,000 summer vacation actually look like? Today, I'm talking to Hao Tang, a travel advisor who plans $100,000-plus trips for some of the wealthiest families in the world.
What does somebody get for $400,000 for 20 nights?
They're directly on the beach. It has a private butler. One of the villas has a private chef as well. You have your full-size pool, huge pool.
Today, we're going to uncover how wealthy people travel, plus the hidden psychology behind travel spending at the highest levels.
I almost don't want to tell you this because it's kind of my secret sauce, but...
Hao, you book luxury hotel stays for high-net-worth and ultra-high-net-worth families, and I have an itinerary from a client that you booked an actual trip for, a $400,000 itinerary for a single dad and his kids. Can I put it up on screen? Can you walk me through this itinerary?
Of course, happy to.
What's the price of this itinerary?
It's roughly $400,000, give and take by a few, when you're counting for the accommodation, some of the activities, food, tips, and the private jet at home.
For how long?
This is just under, I believe, 20 nights, just under three weeks. Let's call it three weeks.
So, this is a $400,000 trip for 20 nights.
Yep.
I have questions. I have a lot of questions. What does somebody get for $400,000 for 20 nights?
Sure. This is a family who needs a three-bedroom villa setup at the minimum, or three bedrooms, I should say. This is a trip to Turks and Caicos. They're directly on the beach. They are in a villa that has ample amount of space. It has a private butler. One of the villas has a private chef as well. You have your full-size pool, huge pool, right? And you're on one of the best beaches in the world. That's just the very high level, but there's much more that goes into it as well.
All right, so what did this client come to you?
They came to me and said, "Hey, we'd love to go take a summer trip with my children." And he actually said, "Hey, Hao, I saw the trip you took last year to Turks and Caicos for your 40th birthday. I thought that was really cool. I would love to do the exact same thing." So, this trip was actually inspired by my 40th birthday trip, which I stayed at Amanyara in their villas and then Amangiri in their villas.
Let's walk through the actual process because I want to take people behind the scenes of what is it like to arrive at one of these hotels. What's the check-in process? Quite different than when I checked in at a Holiday Inn in my early 20s. It's very different. So, let's walk through the check-in process. You get there, actually you walk out of the taxi, okay? What happens?
Most of my clients, I would say, especially with resorts, we would actually arrange the transfers with the hotel. So, the experience starts not at the taxi when you arrive at the hotel, but at the airport, right? As soon as you come off the airport, someone's already with a sign, and then arrive at the hotel. And I will say this, the Peninsula always does a fun arrival in that because when you book their vehicle, when you pull up, there's four people out there waiting on you, right? Because the driver typically calls about three, four minutes out and says, "Hey, we're almost there." They come out, they have their pen, they have their notebook. You get out of the car, they whisk you into your suite to check in or your room to check in.
You're not checking in at the desk.
No, you're never checking in at the desk. You never see your luggage. When you get out of the car, luggage is going to be in the room at some point in the next three, four minutes, like magic, right?
Okay.
And sometimes what I see them do is the team will ask you, "Hey, would you like a little brief tour before we take you to your room or suite first?" And if you do that, they aim to get the luggage into your closet before you even check in.
Okay, so I get there, they're waiting to greet me, they take me up to the room. I don't go to any check-in desk. I'm now taken up to my room. And what happens next?
This could happen in the room or sometime earlier. Every hotel is different, but they will usually have someone with a cold or warm towel depending on the location of the place, and have welcome drinks for you and everything like that. And sometimes they may have a printout of your itinerary if you have an itinerary of things you want to do and things like that.
And then once you've settled into your suite, they will ask you to perform some housekeeping items like getting your passport and things like that. But then they will ask, "Hey, if you guys are not tired, I would be happy to show you the suite and all the amenities and features and buttons and things like that. But if you're tired..."
What's different in these suites versus a Hyatt or any other hotel room?
There are a lot of hidden features. For example, my TV is hidden somewhere in this room that you cannot assume, right? You cannot guess, so you have to know exactly how to access that. There are certain buttons. I stayed in a suite before where I had a hidden door to the bathroom. I would have never found it on my own.
Why are these clients of yours, why do they care so much? For example, this is $15,000 a night for eight nights at Amanjiwo. $125,000, more than $15,000 a night. Whenever you hear somebody talking about numbers like this, it's really easy to say, "That's crazy. What a waste of money. I can't believe people spend this. It's disgusting." So, I want you to use something I call the D-to-C principle. From disparagement to curiosity. Personally, I prefer to get curious. What do you get in a hotel room for $15,000 a night?
I would say one of the things I really love about beach properties is that there's really two very different ways to experience a beach hotel or beach resort, right? One is imagine the old-school beach hotel in Hawaii or something like that, where you go into this big complex, right? You have elevators, different floors with balconies and railings and everything. So every day you get up and say, "Okay, kids, okay, everyone, pack your stuff up. Let's get our bag, go down to the pool. Let's go find some seats if we can find them. Hopefully we'll find them, right? And then let's make camp for the day."
And if you all of a sudden want to take a call, if you want to use the bathroom, I'm a bit of a germaphobe, so I don't like to use public restrooms. You're like, "Okay, do I really want to dry myself off, get my sandals on, take the elevator, go back up, blah, blah, blah?" So that's one way to experience it, which is still great, right? Growing up, never traveling at all, that's heaven.
But imagine if you're on the most pristine beach on a private island and your room is directly on the beach. You take three steps out from your living room, you're on your private deck, half covered. In front of that is a gigantic pool just for you and your family. You can make all the noises you want when you have kids. You don't have to worry about anyone else. At any point in time you can take 30 additional steps. Now you're on the beach by yourself. Take another 50 steps, you're in the water, right?
Well, what does it mean if you have a chef in some of these villas? How does that work?
It can be very different from different properties, but let's just use Amanyara for our example. The chef will make anything you want, assuming that they have the ingredients. And sometimes, if you would like, for example, I have some Indian clients who have very specific dietary needs and preferences, right? So for those clients I love to always send ahead of time, "Hey, chef, my clients do not eat these ingredients."
French food. They do not want French food because it has virtually no taste. They do not believe in pepper and rosemary as a seasoning. Okay, I understand you send that ahead. What else?
Yeah.
So the chef gets these requests or this list. And then what do they do?
They can customize a menu for them, but a lot of times, something that Aman is always known for is basically they can make anything off-menu for you, right? So you can say, "Hey, listen, our family really loves Thai dishes." One of the things that a lot of clients actually request by name is different types of chef at Aman. Certain chefs are proficient in Thai food, some in Indian food, some in French food, et cetera, right? So these specificities are very important. And it's something that we also request almost like requesting the room type.
Why not just go to the restaurant?
You can do that as well. All the options are available to you. One of the things that I've really loved when I've spent time there is that when we travel with children, what we do is we actually have the children eat at a different time. So we have the children eating at like 5:00 p.m. We have the chefs make them grilled chicken, whatever the case may be, and then the kids all eat together.
And then they make a mess, and then the butler cleans everything up. Everything is all nice and neat again. And then at 7:00, after we put the kids aside or to bed, then the adults come together, and then we have our meal, right? So they have a different cadence to everything and different menu. So it's fantastic. I've also traveled with family there where some friends wanted Thai food, some friends wanted Italian food. It doesn't matter. All comes out. They just make whatever you want, right?
Okay.
So it's whatever you can envision that we'll try to execute.
Why do you think your clients care so much? Why not just go to a restaurant like 99.9% of other people?
It's convenience. And I feel the same way, right? For example, I go there every summer. I was just there this summer. And in the villa, you have this idea of how the day is going to go before you go on your trip. You're like, "Oh, we're going to do XYZ. We're going to shower, dress up, go to the restaurant." But when you have kids, it's mayhem. It's 6:00 p.m. Milo, the guy is running around butt naked with his diaper off or whatever the case. You're just trying to survive. You're like, "I want dinner here now. I don't want to change. I want to be in my bathing suit and my T-shirt. I am in no mood to shower and then go get ready," right? So it's convenience. I would say at the end of the day, so much of the luxury that doesn't translate on a website is flexibility and convenience.
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Let's go back to what they get in the room or for paying this much. $5,000, $10,000, $15,000 a night. We talked about you have convenience, you have food prepared for you with a chef. You mentioned a butler. What does a butler do?
They basically are with you at all times just to make sure that if there's any convenience they can assist you with, and this could be making sure that there's always beverages, water, towels by the pool, et cetera. And with us, when we're traveling as a big group of friends or family, there's always a lot of mess, as you can imagine. Anytime they're not executing a request that's given by you, they're cleaning up, they're straightening things up, right?
For someone who loves being organized, and I don't like clutter at all, that's heaven to me. Someone's always straightening things up. And as a father, that's one of the biggest annoyances of having a kid playing with toys all the time. There's always a mess, and that's always being cleaned up. So even on vacation this is happening, which is quite amazing.
And then I would say in the example of Parrot Cay, this is one of my favorite butler concepts. This butler not only looks after you when you're in your beach house. He or she will travel with you throughout the entire resort. They become your waiter, they become anything you do. So, let me tell you where the magic is for that. If you were to go to the restaurant on day one, your butler goes with you. He or she will know your drink preference. For example, every time you sit down you like to have a Diet Coke with two slices of lemon, right? And half a glass of ice. You say that once, and the rest of your trip is done. If your butler did not go with you everywhere outside of your room, which is what most butler services are like, you still may have to repeat that every time you sat down, right? So, just small things like that.
And the best thing about the butlers at Parrot Cay is that they're fantastic with children. And I hate to talk about how much this relates to children because so much of this does, that most of my clients, and myself included, one of the favorite hacks, I always call it, is that I have clients who arrive at Parrot Cay the first night, they will send me a picture. And 50% of the time, the picture is something like they're having dinner, and in the distance is the butler with their child. So, the butler is almost like a nanny hybrid. All right?
It's like the dream. So, they are at this nice hotel. They can be eating whatever food they want, or it's just nice, having a glass of wine, sitting watching the sunset.
Yeah.
And they know their kid is having fun and being taken care of.
Yeah. It's like your quality agent.
An hour.
Yes.
Okay. Wow.
It's just amazing. Also, think about this, right? Kids' club is one of the biggest amenities of resorts for families, right? Sometimes, let's just say your child's at the kids' club, and you're by the pool, and it's time to pick them up. Instead of you getting out of the pool and snapping out of the moment you're in, enjoying the place, you just tell your butler, "Hey, could you please go to the kids' club, pick up John and Jamie and take them back to the room," or they could bring them food or whatever the case may be, right?
This is really interesting because when you're saying this, I'm into it. I love it. The idea that I only have to order sparkling water with limes once, and then everybody knows it. I love that. I love that hospitality and those details. I remember being at the Taj Hotel in Jaipur.
Yes.
And we were there with some friends, and we were having a dinner, and it was getting a little bit late. They had kids, and one of the kids was falling asleep. And I remember one of the staff members coming up and saying, "Would you like us to take the kids back to your room?" And it was like I had never seen that.
Before, and I thought it was magical.
Let me get this straight. They're going to take the kids back to the room. They have a key to get in. They're going to make sure everything's safe. I'm sure they're going to send a little note saying, "Hey, everything's good." Interestingly, the friends that we were with were not comfortable. So they said, "No, no, no, we're okay," even though it was becoming a little bit like the kids were a bit irritable.
Sure.
And I asked them. I said, "How come you don't do that? It's free. It's included. Why not do it?" And she said, "I'm not comfortable doing that." So I thought it was an interesting example. There are a lot of options at these really high-end hotels, but not everyone takes advantage of all of them. I've stayed at places where there's a butler.
Yep.
And I text sometimes, "Can you arrange this or that?" I asked my wife, "Do you want them to pack for us?" Because they can pack.
Right.
I hate packing. I'm like, "Please pack this stuff. I don't want to have to pack it." It also gives me an extra two hours on the last day to not have to sit there and... And then she goes, "No, I don't want them to. I like packing myself." And I was like, "What the hell? What?" But what I've learned is just because it's there doesn't mean everybody uses it. You find the same thing with your clients?
Yeah, for sure. And I think this, not to get off tangent, but it's the same thing. Sometimes I'll go to a hotel—the younger me, the college kid in me—if I went to a hotel and you tell me, "Hey, Hao, guess what? The minibar is included. The minibar is free," I would go bonkers. I would be just chugging Coke and eating gummy bears, right? And then whatever's left on the last day I'm putting in my bag, right?
Now, my minibar's sitting in front of me. I haven't touched it once. It's completely complimentary, right? I'm not going to go drink 80 grams of sugar just because it's free, right? So I think there's some freedom in that and some satisfaction I take in that I've kind of gone through a process. And there's nothing wrong with taking advantage of things that you've paid for. That's part of the amenities, right? Enjoy it. But I think the older, the more experiences like this I do, the more the luxury and the joy I get is getting the experience I want at any given time. Not feel FOMO, not feel like I have to do anything, right?
Yeah. I remember once, because you've been my travel advisor for many years, and you have learned that my wife and I don't really care for wine. We don't really drink that much. So sometimes when you go to these places, they'll have a bottle of wine waiting for you or some kind of champagne. And we're just like, we're not really into it. And you found out that I love berries because as a kid we couldn't basically eat berries. They're too expensive.
Yes.
So basically every hotel I show up to, there's a plate of perfect berries laid out for me. And I truly feel like a kid in a candy store. I'm like, "These are for me, and they're free?" And the irony is at some of these places, they're quite expensive, these hotels. But the idea that everybody still loves something that is made for them. Somewhere, somehow, this hotel had figured out that I like berries. And obviously that was through you, and you found out somehow because one day I probably casually mentioned it.
So there was a lot of work that went into this strawberry appearing on this beautiful ceramic bowl. And to me that makes me feel like I'm taken care of, like someone is watching over me. And if I really pull the thread, it's almost like being a child and knowing that somebody's out there watching over me.
I'm so glad you brought that up because I think sometimes one of the things I'm sure you've heard many times is, "Hey, why would you pay so much for a hotel when you're just sleeping there? Sleeping at a cheaper hotel is the same as an expensive hotel functionality-wise, right?" But it costs money and resources and manpower to get to know somebody. So for me to get to know my client, this is why I don't have a million clients. I can only have so many clients because it takes time to get to know each client. And then when I give this information to the hotel, it takes the manpower. It takes the time and energy to go track down or source certain amenities for these clients, right?
When something goes wrong, I want to talk about that. What's the worst call you've gotten from a client?
I would say one of the worst calls is a client who was going to go on a safari, and they've been looking forward to this their whole life. She's in her 70s. She calls me and tells me that she has cancer, which breaks my heart. And we've been planning this for like a year and a half, by the way. And she's the nicest lady. So she tells me that. Immediately, part of my mind is heartbreak. The other part is, "Oh, crap. We're in penalty." They've already paid $60,000, and it's fully non-refundable at this point.
And that was a bad call because of, one, her getting cancer. Second is this is probably one of the most difficult challenges to overcome. Especially with a safari property. It's not New York. No one's going to walk in last minute and just book a safari for $60,000. So this is where I had to go into problem-solving mode and try to be very creative and unconventional in ways to try to make that work for her financially.
Did it?
Partially. I was able to find another client who was looking to go on safari. I went to the client who had the cancer. I said, "Hey, what if I were able to find someone else who would be willing to go on safari? I can get them to change their dates a little bit, but you give them a bit of a discount on what you paid, right?" So it's a win-win situation, so to speak, right? But this is where I think it's challenging. These are some of the most challenging things because you're having very, very bad news, and then on top of that, you're compounding with another bad news that's devastating as well.
Yeah. Okay. Is there a hotel that everyone thinks is worth it that you don't?
I'm going to say a region maybe because there's so many. I think Europe in the summer is just insane to me, right? You could go to Amalfi Coast, Positano, et cetera, or even on Lake Como. You could get an entry-level room at the top-level properties for 3,000, 4,000 euros per night. So we're talking, what, 3,600 to 5,000 USD per night, and you're getting a 300-square-foot closet.
So what if a client comes to you and says, "I want to go to Positano"? What would you say?
We would have, depending on the client, if they know the market well, I might have this conversation with them because I already know, right? I just know that this is where they want to go, and that's the most valuable thing because sometimes one of my jobs is to actually understand what it is that you value.
Yes.
On any given trip. It's not always money. It's not always the quote-unquote bang for the buck, right? Or at least in that way. Sometimes it's going to the South of France in the peak of summer because that's where you want to be, right? That is the most important thing, right? Just like New Yorkers in January want to be in the Caribbean. That might be the only thing they care about, right?
You once told me in a very respectful way, because my wife and I love Rosewood Mayakoba. We just love that hotel. We've had so many great experiences, and you were kind of like...
Oh.
Again, yeah, in polite terms, you're like, "That hotel is a bit incongruous with the other places that you stay. Basically, it's not as nice." When I personally love it. And the reason that I love it and we love it is we've just had such warm experiences with the staff. We brought some of our friends there. And I thought that was a great observation because what I've learned is I don't always need to have the most expensive, the most nice. Sometimes it's like, what's easy for people to get to, or in this case, what makes us feel really warm and taken care of? And it's nice, no doubt. Rosewood Mayakoba was a very nice hotel. There are more expensive ones around.
Yep.
But I thought that was a good observation, that just because you have money doesn't mean you're always spending the max amount.
Yes. Yes.
Who pays for your travel?
I make these reels every year about how this works. So I pay for my travel. I think last year, it's still on my Instagram, I made a reel last May about how I spent $300,000, but I got a million dollars' worth of travel experiences. And the point of that reel was that there was a several-hundred-thousand-dollar delta. And that delta was through either invitation or upgrades and things like that, right? So a free stay is a free stay, but it actually costs me something if I don't like the place. I'd rather pay either full price or discounted rate to go to a place that I like and love and that my clients will also like and love potentially than go to a free place that isn't a good fit, right?
How do you tell in a few minutes if someone is going to be a great client or a nightmare client?
I almost don't want to tell you this because it's kind of my secret sauce, but I'm going to tell you. Even the way they approach me to become a client is a flag. So if someone approaches me and just says, "How do you work? What's your fee?" That's a flag. That's a red flag for me. My most high-net-worth clients have always approached me with, "Hey, Hao, we've been following you for some time. We really resonate with you. Are you accepting new clients?"
Mhm.
Right?
Mhm. And my assumption is—what's the difference in two approaches?
Well, I think one is, the first example, they're still interviewing you and trying to figure out what it is that you can do for them, et cetera. I think the second one, they've already made a decision on you. They've spent time investing in you to see if you might be a good fit for them. And here's the thing, I think they must have other areas in their lives where they work with a top person. And that means that they know the top person is not necessarily looking to take on new clients. They're probably already at their max, right? The top accountant for their taxes, the top whatever it is, right? The top physician.
What is the average cost of a trip that you book for clients?
On average, probably the hotels start at about $4,000 per night on average, right?
Okay. And how many nights?
Five.
Okay. What's the lowest price that a client books through you?
Oh, I've booked a client for a few hundred bucks before. But more so that, once I have a client, I have a client. And if they need to go to a place in Kuala Lumpur where the Four Seasons, a suite is like 300 bucks, I still book that for them, of course. Once they're my client, they're my client, right?
What should someone look for if they are hiring a travel advisor?
So I joked with Alora last year, which she did not find this funny at all. So, "If I die, you and Becca work with an advisor, but this is what you look for." I said, first, you must be able to tell if she or him, if their taste was developed. You must be able to see how their taste was developed, right? Meaning you can see visually or through something that they went to these places, and their taste or whatever their opinions are is kind of refined by these trips they've taken, right? It's through personal experience. That's very important to me.
And they also must have a strong perspective on things, right? That's very interesting to me. And also they must have demonstrated some ability or capacity to think unconventionally because sometimes, like the example for the single dad, I got him a $40,000 upgrade. That stay was not going to be possible until I made that happen, right? I saw an opportunity for both the client and the hotel and then made that happen, but that was unconventional thinking, right? So that's big. And then of course I said they must be able to showcase that they know the right people, right? The right general manager and things like that, have their hands on the pulse of the industry. So I think those are things that are very important.
Why did you choose to do this job? Did you grow up going to luxury hotels?
No, we were so poor we didn't even go to motels. My mom moved here as an immigrant. She was a housekeeper and a waitress raising me, which is why, by the way, I have such a soft spot for housekeepers at hotels. I started traveling when I first started working at Ralph Lauren just here, and because we had company discounts.
Mhm.
Right, that was huge. I could get into the Surrey on the Upper East for like 200 bucks, right, when it was like 800, and that was a splurge for me. I had to save to get the 200 bucks. And I didn't even know what that was. I couldn't define it at the time, but I just had this vision of I wanted to know what's out there. I wanted to experience it. And then when I tried a little bit of luxury travel, it really resonated with me. I really found everything about luxury hotels to be interesting. In fact, I could just stay in the hotel all day. I didn't want to leave, right? That's a big difference. My friends and Laura were like, "Oh, let's go see this museum. Let's go do this." I'm like, "I want to stay in the hotel. You go. I just want to stay. I want to sit in the bed and just enjoy the space." I can't tell you why, right?
The fact that I can actually add value to people's trip, and it's immediate impact almost, right? When I work in the corporate world, you work on a project, it might realize in like two years. Who knows, right? But I could work, I could do something for... and when they take that trip, I will immediately know how that went, right? There's pressure with that, of course, but the reward is so substantial. And even for the wealthiest people who maybe don't lack in finance, but they lack on time, right? So to play a role in one of the most pivotal assets or moments of their life and make an impact is really rewarding.
I would say there's nothing like, we've texted them, "Hey, how's it going?" There's nothing like getting a picture from your client, and you're like, "Dude, look at these blueberries. They're individual shelves." Those things, I'm getting a little bit of goosebumps. Just amazing. I get texts and messages like that all the time. And it's just something that I couldn't do previously. And I love that.
I love it, too. All right, Hao. Thank you for taking us behind the scenes of luxury travel. I appreciate your time.
Yep. Thanks. Cheers.
Thanks a lot. I find this whole conversation fascinating, especially because most people never talk about this publicly. I ask myself, "Hey, why would someone spend this money?" If they can afford it, presumably they have a reason. What is it? It might not be something I care about, but maybe I will one day. And the only way I can understand it is by getting curious instead of disparaging it. So if you use the D2C principle, you're going to see lots of new ways to think about money everywhere you go. If you want to see more of these videos going inside what spending actually looks like at the highest levels and why, leave a comment and tell me what you want to see next.
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