Bryan Johnson Scores Internet Morning Routines on Longevity, Health, and Aesthetics
Bryan Johnson
In this video, Bryan Johnson, who says he has spent years refining his own morning routine with longevity as the goal, reviews a series of morning-routine videos from other creators. His stated rule for his own routine is simple: if a practice meets a scientific threshold, it's in, and if it doesn't, it's out. Here he applies a looser version of that standard to other people. He comments on each routine as it plays and then scores it out of 10 on three axes: longevity, health, and aesthetics. The tone is mostly playful, but his comments return to the same concerns throughout: what goes into the body, environmental exposures, sleep, and consistency.
The 3:53 a.m. Routine: Great ASMR, Questionable Honey
The first routine begins at 3:53 a.m. (the video's title credits Ashton Hall as a featured creator). Johnson jokes that the person "definitely is OCD" with "psychological problems with control and organization," and adds that he loves that. He praises the production: the ASMR sound, the clean shots, and the overall structure.
His first substantive point comes before the creator heads outdoors. Johnson says he would want reassurance that they know the air quality: the AQI, the PM2.5 level (particulate matter 2.5), and any other contaminants in the air. His advice is simply to be aware before going outside.
Two moments puzzle him. The creator appears to clean their face with a banana peel. Johnson says he isn't aware of evidence that banana-peel face scrubbing is beneficial, though he allows that there may be evidence he doesn't know about, and he gives the creator credit for being "an explorer." Next, the creator seems to put honey on freshly cooked food. Johnson says he wouldn't do that. In his view, the honey raises the glycemic load of the meal, and putting it on hot food changes the enzymes in the honey.
His overall verdict is positive about the structure. Getting up early and following a consistent routine help set cortisol and circadian rhythm, and the creator is physically active. He argues that a structured morning, attention to what you eat, and discipline are good things to encourage in people.
Scores: aesthetics and ASMR 10/10, longevity 3/10, health 7/10.
The 24-Year-Old: Good Start, Then Chick-fil-A
The second video shows a 24-year-old living alone. Johnson notes that the bed sits on cinder blocks, which he calls "a dead giveaway" that the person lives alone. The creator wakes around 7, puts on New Balance 1080 running shoes, cleans and vacuums the apartment, and organizes their shoes. Johnson expected a health protocol and got housecleaning instead. He says he respects it and approves of starting the day by making sure you're not living in a pigsty.
The routine then goes downhill in his eyes. The creator grabs an energy drink. Johnson wants to know which brand, because he says energy drinks typically have poor ingredients. Then the creator drives off in a Kia K5 and gets a Chick-fil-A chicken sandwich and tots. Johnson reacts with "No, don't do that," and calls it "a disaster."
He uses the moment to talk about skin. He points at the creator's hands on screen and calls the skin supple and youthful. He argues that this kind of food creates harmful compounds that eventually show up in the skin, and that a 24-year-old doesn't realize the damage is happening "from the inside." He also singles out the sauces. Because the setting looks like a desert, he says he hopes the creator is wearing sunscreen. He suggests looking up your city's UV index, which he says is low in the morning, peaks around midday, and then drops again.
After the meal, the creator goes for an "easy, peaceful" six-mile run while training for the Boston Marathon, stops at Target for groceries, and showers. Johnson concludes that the creator has good intentions but that no one has taught them some basics about health. He gives credit for the cleaning and the daily six miles, and says he would drop the energy drink and the fast food.
Scores: aesthetics 5/10, longevity 1/10, health 4/10.
The Hyperbaric Sleeper in a Mario Costume
The third creator describes an unusual approach to sleep. If they want seven hours, they set an alarm for five hours and then move into a hyperbaric chamber set up like a bed to sleep the rest of the time. From there they go to red-light cardio, then a weighted vest, sauna, and cold exposure.
Johnson raises two cautions. The first concerns sleep architecture. He explains that deep sleep happens mostly in the first part of the night and REM sleep in the latter part. If the split routine cuts into REM sleep, he says he would not make that trade-off. The second concerns oxygen. He calls hyperbaric therapy great in general, but says that if the chamber is filled with 100% oxygen, that is "generally bad for the health." He links it to oxidative damage and cataracts, and says he would want the creator breathing 100% oxygen through a mask rather than filling the whole chamber with it.
He approves of the weighted vest. On cold plunges, he says he doesn't do them himself. In his view the benefits are mostly "feel-good chemicals," and the longevity evidence is still emerging. People who enjoy the practice are welcome to continue it.
Scores: longevity 5/10, health 7/10, aesthetics 6/10 (credited to the creator wearing a Mario costume).
"Five Healthy Plus Realistic Morning Habits": The Tap Water Question
The fourth video is titled "Five healthy plus realistic morning habits." Johnson opens by joking that the creator's hair looks too good to belong to someone who just woke up.
His main comment is about tap water. He says that if you drink it, you should have it tested, and he describes his own practice. Every month he measures both his tap water and his filtered water at home, which runs through a reverse osmosis system with a carbon stage that remineralizes the water. He warns that tap water can contain microplastics as well as drugs that people flush down the drain and that cycle back into the water supply.
He likes the flowers in the kitchen and the metal water bottle, though he wonders whether its lid is plastic. The breakfast is chia pudding with berries, then eggs, toast, and berries. The rest of the routine includes a workout, journaling, and facial massage. He calls it directionally good.
Scores: health 6/10, longevity 5/10, aesthetics 7/10.
Trevor's Parody: Laughter as Longevity Therapy
The fifth video comes from Trevor, whom Johnson describes as a new friend who visited his house a couple of months earlier. From his reactions, the video is a comedy take on the morning-routine genre, including a bit about turning "100 pennies into a dollar." Johnson laughs throughout and says it's lucky the world has funny people, because "laughter is like the best longevity therapy." He calls the video "a magnificent piece of art."
Scores: 10/10 across the board.
The Serious 4 a.m. Routine: The First Sign of Measurement
The sixth video is titled "the perfect 4:00 a.m. morning routine." Johnson notes how serious the creator looks. He is impressed by a compact home workout system he hasn't seen before and says it's useful for anyone living in a small apartment.
The creator also has something done with a needle. Johnson observes that this is the first routine in the set to involve anything like measurement. If it's a blood draw, he says, that would be very positive. He suspects it's more likely a drip or an injection such as glutathione or a vitamin infusion, and says that's fine but advises caution. Breakfast includes spinach, eggs, avocado, berries, seeds, something that might be cookies, and coffee. He calls it "pretty solid" and adds that spinach is good but shouldn't be overdone.
The workout device is his highlight, and he draws a broader point from it. Many people say they can't do something and offer whatever excuse applies. He says there is a lot of power in doing the thing anyway when it's hard, or finding a creative solution.
Scores: health 6/10, longevity 5/10, aesthetics 7/10.
The 16-Year-Old Who Dances Between Cuts
The seventh video is "My productive morning routine as a 16-year-old student." Johnson enjoys the dancing and footwork out of bed, the deliberate sloppiness, and the jump-cut transitions. He expected the teenager to dip a toe in the ice bath and stop there. When they went further, he said he'd like to hang out with this person and do the routine with them. He also argues that the creator is a good influence on peers, since most people that age aren't doing anything like this.
Scores: longevity 8/10, health 8/10, aesthetics 10/10.
The Mustache Satire
The final clip is another parody. The creator wears what Johnson suspects is a taped-on mustache and keeps a deadpan expression. The routine escalates into a joke about getting in the car after a day of 20 beers. Johnson treats it as social commentary. He gives health points for the cleverness and longevity points for "identifying the real societal problems."
Scores: health 9/10, longevity 9/10, aesthetics 7/10.
Johnson's Conclusion: Any Routine Beats None
Johnson closes by arguing that having a morning routine is better than not having one, because starting the day well is the best way to have a good day. He offers his own experience. When he wakes up late and has a rough morning, the rest of the day feels like catching up on lost ground. That is why he likes an early bedtime and an early rise: he gets ahead of the day, plans everything, and shows up prepared. For viewers without a routine, he suggests treating the videos he reviewed as a menu of practices to choose from.
No, don't do that. This has turned out to be a disaster. Got a chicken sandwich. Don't do this. This is what's happening here. Oh man.
Today we are going over several morning routines. A topic near and dear to my heart because you know what? I love a good morning routine. I've been refining mine for years. My objective has been longevity. So if it hits a scientific threshold, I'm in. If it doesn't, it's out. Today I'm going to be assessing what other people are doing and we'll see what they got going on.
Wait a second. All right, this is fun. Okay, we're going to start at 3:53 a.m. So, this person definitely is OCD. Certainly has psychological problems with control and organization, which I love. Wait, it's going too fast. Okay, good sound. Yeah, he's got a nice chain. That's a heavy weight. Nice selection.
Okay, first before he goes outside, I would like to have reassurances that he knows what the air quality is. I definitely want to know the AQI index. I want to know the PM 2.5. That's particulate matter 2.5. I want to know the contaminants in the air. If he's going to go outside, just be aware. What is air quality?
So, we're going to be serious about the Lord's business. So, I have to say the ASMR is really good. Cleanly shot, well structured. So, from a morning routine aesthetic, he's doing a great job.
Wait, what? Did he just clean his face with a banana peel? Maybe that is evidence I'm not aware of. I was not aware that banana peel face scrubbing is beneficial. Maybe it's something that he benefits from, but like, hey, I mean, it's new. I got to respect the, you know, he's been an explorer, but not something that I recognize from the evidence. Thank you.
Wait, is that honey? Yes. I'm not sure I would do honey on that one. Honey, if that is honey, it's going to increase your glycemic index. And putting it on hot food is going to also change the enzymes in the honey. So, I don't think I would pair honey with food fresh off the stove.
Okay. So, overall, pretty interesting morning routine. I wouldn't say it's going to rank like the best longevity routine, but I'd say like he's getting up, you know, early in the morning, which I love. He has a consistent routine, which is, you know, setting your cortisol and your circadian rhythm. That's very positive. He's active, which is wonderful. I would give him a 10 out of 10 for aesthetics and ASMR. I would give him three out of 10 for longevity and 7 out of 10 for health, which is just like have a structured morning. Do things positive for your health. Be mindful of what you're eating. It's a good thing to encourage people. Be disciplined. Be structured.
Next, we've got a 24-year-old. First. Okay. Is his bed on, what's his bed like? Cinder blocks. "24-year-old living alone to stay healthy and fit. I wake up at—" I knew by the fact that the bed was on cinder blocks that he was living alone. That is a dead giveaway.
"Like around 7 every morning. I immediately got my running shoes, which are the New Balance 1080s today. Then I quickly cleaned up the apartment. It just kind of was getting a little bit messy. So just went crazy and cleaned everything, vacuumed everything. Fun stuff. The last thing to do was to organize my shoes really quick." Okay, I like this. Like I expected like a protocol about like what he's doing for his health and he's cleaning his house, which, you know what, I respect. Get up in the morning, put your New Balance shoes on, clean up your house, make sure you're living in a pigsty. That's good [ __ ] I'm on board with that. And he's got a refund his door. That's nice.
"An energy drink. And finally headed out the door." Energy drink. I want to know which one though because energy drinks are typically not great with the ingredients. So, I'd want to see which one. "And then hopped in my Kia K5, started sipping on my energy drink and then I just was craving Chick-fil-A. So, I—" No, don't do that. This has turned out to be a disaster. I mean, I was on board with the cleaning the house and getting the shoes in order and making his bed. I like Chick-fil-A. So, he's doing an energy drink and then Chick-fil-A. "Stop by, got a chicken sandwich."
Oh, don't do this. I mean, okay, look right there in that shot. His fingers. That's really nice skin. That is supple, youthful skin. You know what that food does? It creates AGEs. It's going to like create these terrible things in your skin. It's not going to look great. So, when you're 24 years old, you don't realize when you eat this stuff, it's destroying you from the inside and eventually outside in, where people look at your skin and be like, "That's a diet of fast food." So, and then man, those sauces. Like Chick-fil-A is just not a place you want to be hanging out. Don't do that.
"Wedge some tots. Absolutely throttled that meal and then I threw my—" Throttled. What does that mean? I hope he's wearing sunscreen, too. He looks like he's in a desert environment. I would definitely want to know what the UV index is. So, if he's going outside, just type in your city UV index. And you see in the morning it's very low. It climbs to the peak during midday, then comes back down. So, at this point, he ate Chick-fil-A. Oh, man. Like, that's gross. Like, you're eating, you're going to feel sick.
"Beats and went for my morning run. Just an easy, peaceful six-miler. I have the Boston Marathon coming up soon. Stopped in at Target to grab some groceries. Why am I crying in Target? And then I took a shower. That was my morning." This is my morning.
Okay. I think he's got good intentions. I don't think anyone has actually taught him some basic things about health. I wouldn't be pounding the energy drink. I wouldn't be doing Chick-fil-A. He gets points for cleaning his house, doing 6 miles a day. That's great. He could use a little help. So, I'd say ranking this aesthetically 5 out of 10. Longevity 1 out of 10. Health 4 out of 10.
"If I want to sleep for 7 hours, I set my alarm to wake up in 5 hours and then I go right in the hyperbaric chamber that's set up like a bed. So, then I sleep in the hyperbaric and then straight from there I go on the red light cardio with—" Wait. He wakes up and then he sleeps in the hyperbaric. I'd be mindful of not cutting your sleep short. So, your REM sleep happens in the latter part of the night. So you get deep sleep in the first part, then REM at the last. And if he's cutting his REM sleep to do that, I wouldn't make that trade-off.
Being in the hyperbaric is great. So good for him. I'd be mindful though, if his hyperbaric has 100% oxygen inside the chamber, that is generally bad for the health. It can create oxidative damage and cause cataracts. So I'd want him to be doing 100% oxygen with a mask, not in the chamber entirely.
"Weighted vest, sauna, cold." Cool. Weighted vest. Great. I don't do cold plunge myself. I mean, the evidence, I think it's mostly for feel-good chemicals. I think the evidence on longevity is emergent. So, if you do a cold plunge practice, great. Do you. Longevity protocol, I'd say like five out of 10. Health protocol, 7 out of 10. And aesthetic, the fact that he wore a Mario costume, 6 out of 10.
Oh, great. This is a very different vibe. "Five healthy plus realistic morning habits." Okay, so first of all, her hair looks really nice. So, if this is an imagination that she just woke up, I don't believe it. I think she did a full job on the hair. All right, let's go.
Okay, first of all, she's drinking tap water. You want to be very mindful. So, if she's going to drink tap water, you want to have it measured. I do this every month at my house. I measure tap water and I measure my filtered water. We have a reverse osmosis system with a carbon base which remineralizes. And so if you're drinking tap water, just know what you're drinking. Tap water can have some really bad stuff like microplastics. And then of course like a lot of drugs which people put down the drain that recycle back in our water supply system. So be mindful.
I do like her flowers. They're in the kitchen. That's really nice. And looks like she's got a metal water container. That looks good. I wonder if the top is plastic though. Okay. Chia pudding, berries. It's nice. Her nails look nice. Wait, wait. Okay. Eggs, toast, berries. Like, yeah. Directionally, she's doing a good job. Working out. Good. The journaling. She's doing facial massages. That's a good morning routine from health perspective, you know. 6 out of 10. Longevity, 5 out of 10. Aesthetics, let's call it a 7 out of 10.
This is what's happening here. That's pretty amazing. That's why Trevor— Okay, Trevor just became a friend of mine. He just came over to the house a couple months ago. Video. I love that Trevor is doing this. This is amazing. That's so good, Trevor. Good job, man.
Oh my god. Like, how lucky are we to have funny people in the world that like, laughter is like the best longevity therapy? This is so funny. I'm so happy he did this. What is that? What's he reading? He jumps. Trevor, the expression on his face. Good job, Trevor.
"Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We got to turn those 100 pennies into a dollar. You know what I'm saying?" Oh man. Oh, that is just a magnificent piece of art. 10 out of 10. Longevity, 10 out of 10. Health, 10 out of 10. From an aesthetic perspective, Trevor, good job.
Whoa, he looks serious. Who is this? Okay, "the perfect 4:00 a.m. morning routine." Like, just looking at his facial expression, this man is serious. That's a pretty cool workout system, I have to say. I haven't seen that before, but if you're living in a small apartment and you need to do all these kind of things, that's cool.
Hey, this is amazing. What's he doing? He's getting a blood draw or a drip. Let's see. Okay, so this is the first time we saw, in all the routines we've been looking at, someone doing something, either measurement. If he's getting a blood draw, that would be very positive, but I suspect he's probably doing a drip or like injections like glutathione or some vitamin drip. If he is, cool.
Be a little careful. Like spinach is great. You just want to be mindful to not have it too much. So, let's see. Eggs, avocado, berries, seeds. Are those cookies? And then he's got coffee. Pretty solid.
All right, so I'd say the workout thing was probably the highlight for me. That's a really cool device, and you can get a lot done in your apartment. A lot of people will say that they can't do a given thing because of, you know, name your excuse. And so I think there's a lot of power in doing something even when it's hard or you have to find a creative solution for it. Okay, on this I would say 6 out of 10 for health, you know, 5 out of 10 for longevity, and let's call it a 7 out of 10 for aesthetics. Solid.
Okay, this is fun. "My productive morning routine as a 16-year-old student." All right. I love the dance and the footwork out of bed. Banger. I love the sloppiness. That's cool. Good aesthetic choice on the jumping and the change. Like that's a nice addition here. My favorite thing is just dancing in between cuts. I have to say I have a soft spot for this. I thought he was just going to dip a toe in the ice bath and call it good.
Okay. I like this guy. This is a cool person. I want to hang out with him. I want to do the morning routine with him. Dance around. [ __ ] around. Eight out of 10 longevity. You're a good influence on your peers. Like most of your friends are not doing this. So that's good. On health, 8 out of 10. Aesthetic 10 out of 10. Good job.
Who is this guy? "My morning routine." All right. And he's like, I love his dead in the face expression. Is this mustache real? It can't. That can't be real, right? It looks like a taped on mustache.
Yeah. Oh no. Oh no. "Get in the car after a day of 20 beers." So, I'd say 9 out of 10 for health, for the cleverness, 9 out of 10 for longevity, for identifying the real societal problems, and, you know, aesthetically, good job. 7 out of 10.
All right, guys. So, there you have it. Having a morning routine is better than not having a morning routine because starting your day off right is the best way of having a good day. I know when I wake up late, for example, and I have a rough start to the morning, the whole day it feels like I'm just trying to catch up from the space I lost in the morning. It's why I love an early bedtime. I love an early rise. I get ahead of the day. I plan everything out. When I show up, I'm ready. I'm prepared. So, if you don't have a morning routine, some good examples of things you can choose from. But definitely a great way to start your day off.
Article published